how to get girls to like you:
- compliment their eyebrows
- eat them out
That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.
— How I Met Your Mother (via saintofsass)
Sometimes I think you love me. Sometimes I think you like me. Other times, I think I’m nobody to you. Yeah, this sucks.
— Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via hate)
enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes
Tina Fey for American Express, 2007-2014
im going to inject garlic bread into my blood stream